Here is a cringe worthy feature…FAN GIRL ALERT… I wrote for Audio Addict magazine on the one and only Shaun Ryder of the Happy Mondays. Enjoy.
It’s happened. It’s finally happened. The interview that seemed to be but a aspiring dream has finally become reality. To understand the trauma behind this tale let me take you back, if you will, to weeks been and gone. Where a not-so-young female was sat irritably on her sofa, armed with nothing but an inquisitive nature, a mobile phone and a recording device. Desperately dialling digits into her phone for an awe inspiring conversation with non-other than the absolute legend that is Shaun Ryder. Yes, that’s right THE Shaun Ryder of THE Happy Mondays, one of THE greatest bands to emerge out of Britain…and that isn’t just my opinion…okay so perhaps it is, but the point still stands. I’m pretty sure we all agree that The Happy Mondays are pretty darn awesome. So you can understand my excitement when given the opportunity to interview Shaun.
The interview was scheduled for 2.20. Prompt and punctual or as some might say a little over excited, I dial in the call. The dial tone rings, the nerves kick in and wait! The dial tones stopped…OH. My. God. This is happening I’m going to talk to Shaun bloody Ryder! I’m waiting, and waiting, and…wait! Helllooooo…voice mail. My first phone interview, how very anticlimactic. Trust me, there really is nothing more depressing than the hearing the words “Welcome to Orange answer phone”. The conversation between my good friend Mr. answer phone and I continued for some time, the repetition was indeed deflating and it was at this is about the point my expectations start to shrivel away. Running the risk of looking like a pest (calling 17 times, in 1 hour isn’t a lot!) I decided to call it a day.
It seemed like that was it, that it was all one big joke constructed by Audio Addict. Until, what’s that? It’s been rescheduled. Ideal. Second time, surly I’ll have more luck. Wrong, turns out it’s been moved back a day. Third time lucky right?! Well I guess the saying is spot on because my third try was definitely lucky. It started with the standard hello which soon progressed into something far more wonderful. A shaky start, no doubt, but Shaun was kind and reassuring like a distant uncle that you don’t talk to often but is good at filling up awkward silences. With the first words uttered being “I better be careful what I say, hadn’t I?” This interview was going to be gold.
I found out a bundle of exciting things from Shaun, like for example his favourite cheese. (It’s Lancaster, in case you were wondering.) I found out that testicles taste like oysters and tarantulas taste like roast beef and that he is going to see One Direction with his daughters. All of which whilst interesting, if a little odd, aren’t the important things we need to know about Mr. Ryder. No. Lets get down to the nitty-gritty of it all. Like, will there be a new Happy Mondays album?!…Sadly no. “A new Monday’s album? There’s just no time! We said we would do one, it’s when we have the time. It could be next year the year after. Who knows!”
But don’t break down in tears just yet Shaun has a rather fantastic solo album coming out later into the year. He informed me that It’s a little like the ‘Uncle Dysfunktional‘ album, only not.
“Well, in 2006 we (Happy Mondays) did the Uncle Dysfunktional album. The guy who worked on that is a real good friend of mine, he’s worked on my album and it’s sort of a bit like that only we spent more time working on it. With this we spent a lot more time writing and more care on it. It’s sort of like that, but not too much like that. You’ll just have to wait and see.”
Despite no new album just yet, Shaun informs me that the Mondays are touring across the UK “Basically we’re doing shows for the next two or three years, so.” something which Shaun seems to
be looking forward to “It’s great performing now. 20 odd years ago there was a lot of drama with being young. Now there’s no drama! There’s no sex, there’s no drugs, there’s just music.” Wait. What? No sex? No drugs? That doesn’t sound very much like the wild reckless group that is the Happy Mondays to me! Well, that’s probably because as Shaun so eloquently put it “now we are a bunch of boring old fuckers” How lovely.
Whilst it seems like things with the Mondays are moving at more of a pensioners pace Shaun himself has been very busy, very busy indeed. He’s been filming for an autobiographical film of his life and presenting a programme on the history channel in which Shaun goes gallivanting to various places around the world looking at UFO’s and the unexplained…It really does all sound out of this world.
Of course Shaun is no stranger to our television screens, he’s been on a fair few programmes in his time like Ghost Hunting with the Happy Mondays, which if you haven’t seen google it right NOW because I can assure you it’s the BEST thing you’ll ever see in your life. EVER! There really is nothing funnier than watching the Happy Mondays get blitzed on brandy and shouting “Fuck off” at a ‘ghost’. Drunken ghost-busting aside Shaun has also appeared on ITV’s All Star Mr and Mrs and, of course, I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. The reality show in which we watch a hand-full of celebrities and a few ‘I’m-not-sure-who-the-fuck-they-are-but-apparently-they-are-famous-people’, endure the cruellest of tasks. Despite being made to bathe with crustaceans and creepy crawlies, sleep in a hammock and munch on bugs and well, things that a human just shouldn’t consume Shaun insists that the jungle was tip-top. “’ it’s easier in the jungle to out here in real life.” A statement I personally find very hard to believe but hey, whatever floats your boat.
It is evident that Shaun’s career is a diverse one, he is seemingly a jack of all trades, well entertainment wise at least. However his career hasn’t always run quite so smoothly as I found out when asking the obligatory “If you could change one thing in your career, what would it be?” question. “I had years of legal problems, 13 years of it which really did y’know…if I’d have know what I know now, then. I’d have probably avoided all the legal s**t I got myself into. But everything else I’d keep pretty much how it was.” A sensible answer and a good choice, but little did I know that this question would lead on to a wonderful Ryder rant….
“I got asked just now, ‘Oh the press gave you a hard time’, the press didn’t give us a hard time. We played with the press. We used the press. There was loads of bands that started of when we started of in the 80’s that you never hear of because it’s not, it’s just not all about the voice. The game isn’t just about the voice, if it was it would be great. But it isn’t. You’ve got to come up with all the other bull”
A sense of slight smugness and a clear passion resonated in his voice as he said this, the words just kept flowing like some kind of epic speech in an epic film, the type with a war, explosions and a heart-warming love scene. Shaun was delivering to me the secret of the Mondays success in the form of a subtle brag and laugh at the presses expense and it was bloody grand.
“In the 80’s it was so boring! If someone rolled a joint it was like WOW it’s the end of your career! Growing up with the Stones and the Sex Pistols and all that stuff that’s gone and we decided that we was going to bring that back. We used it, we played it and we got exactly what we wanted.”
Genius pure genius, who knew! And all from a man who swears at ghosts and ate kangaroo testicles on national TV…Ryder-rant over, the silence started to creep it’s way in and I suddenly remembered that I was in fact conducting an interview and that did involve talking. “Well they say there is no such thing as bad press…” I chuckled. To which Shaun rather sceptically replied. “Well, yeah. They SAY that.”
And here is how the interview panned out…
Shaun: I better be careful what I say hadn’t I?
Me: No it’s okay, it’s just for transcribing and crap be as foul mouthed as you want Laugh
Shaun: Ohhhhh Righttt.
Me:There was a bit of a kerfufle with the interview last time…
Shaun: Oh yeah what was that?
Me: I couldn’t get trough to you!…any reason as to why?
Shaun: Errr I have no idea what went on there when I get told I have interviews I usually do them. Probably something to do with management that.
Me: Oh welllll…
Me: So you’re playing Brighton in may, are there any other dates and places that you have added, it it like a tour or a one off gig?
Shaun: No, it’s y’know we are doing a sort of tour, we are basically doing shows all over the place. Basically doing shows for the next two or three years, so.
Me: What influenced you guys to reform again?
Shaun: I suppose when sort of, Stone Roses announced that they were reforming we got hit with a lot of requests from promoters. It was for the CASH, you can’t say that, can you because y’know it sounds like you don’t give a toss doesn’t it. It was the right time and the right thing to do really.
Me: Of course, and you’re playing Isle Of white festival this year with Stone Roses too, are you looking forward to that?
Shaun: YEAH, it’s great performing now it really is. Back in the day, 20 odd years ago it was on a treadmill. Y’know there was a lot of drama with being young. Now there’s no drama! There’s no sex, there’s no drugs there’s just music. It’s a blast it really is.
Me: You’ve reformed several times…
Shaun:…Several times yes! We have been reforming since 1999, but this is the first time with the original band. It’s a sort of a reincarnation, it’s the original sound. It’s more together than it was then. It’s all good. I’d say if it was crap yeah! But it’s not! It’s really, it sounds really good. Y’know in fact it’s better than it was then!
Me: Oh I definitely don’t doubt that!
Me:Last time you reformed you did some filming also? Anything like that planned this time around?
Shaun: No, noones followed us around or anything this time. I mean there was kind of at the start we had a few people, there’s all sorts of footage but we canned it. It will disappear.
Me: Oh no, that’s a pitty.
Me: Now correct me if I’m wrong, as these questions where put together a while back now…But you have an Australian tour?
Shaun: Yeah we have had to switch that about, we SHOULD actually be in Australia now! And Japan, but because of how things have worked out we have had to switch them around. Y’see I have a TV show coming out in September and I’ve been working on my Autobiography movie. So we have switched things around, Japan and Australia will be around some point in August?
Me: I see, what is this TV show all about then?
Shaun: It’s for the history channel. I’ve sorta been jogging off around the world going to places like South America and interviewing weird people about UFO’s and stuff.
Me: Sounds really interesting…
Shaun: It is, because the military there they’re not moody like the military here or in the USA they’re really welcoming, they wanted to show you there sort of videos about strange things that defy the laws of physics.
Me: You’ve done quite a few things on TV now, like you’ve done I’m a celebrity and All Star Mr and Mrs, are there any other shows you’d go on.
Shaun: Umm, no I sorta stay away from the reality stuff really. Like I didn’t really want to do I’m A Celebrity, The management wanted me to do that, the record company wanted me to do that, my kids wanted me to do it, my wife wanted me to do it…I was the only one that didn’t want to do it!
Because I come from that sort of school where you don’t really touch that sort of thing, y’know. But I’m glad I did it, I really really enjoyed it. If they ever do stop making I’m A Celebrity, and they do a show where the winners and runner up all go together I’d probably say yes to that because it’s easier in the jungle to out here in real life.
Me: really?!
Shaun: Oh yeah, definitely! There’s no phones, no mither no nothing. I really did enjoy it so I probably would say yes to do that if they did that sort of thing.
Me: So you’d want to eat bugs and kangaroo testicles all over again?
Shaun: I don’t mind, I don’t mind at all!
Me: Did they taste nice?
Shaun: They taste…each thing has got something that it tastes like. Some sort of testicle tastes like oyster…
Me: REALLY?
Shaun: tarantula tastes like roast beef. All these things have something that they taste like…you can kid yourself.
Me: I’m not sure I can believe that
Me:As a band you’re renowned for being a bit…wild..
Shaun: Of course we were wild. I started a band at 18, what are you meant to be like at 18?! 20, 25, 29 and 30. Obviously if we were old men when we started out that wouldn’t be right would it, but y’know. Obviously now we are a bunch of boring old f*****s, there’s not drama, there’s so much drama when you’re young.
Me: What was the wildest thing you’ve done in your career? What’s your best on the road memory?
Shaun:The wildest things I can’t remember or I’m not willing to say! You have to watch what you say anyway, it’s like my autobiography I decide I’m going to tell the truth and then the lawyers say ‘you can’t put that in’.
Me: If you could change anything about your career, what would it be?
Shaun: I had years of legal problems which really did y’know, if I’d have know what I know then, now. I’d have avoided all the legal problems. 13 years of it. So, I’d have probably avoided all the legal s**t I got myself into. But everything else I’d keep pretty much how it was. It’s like I got asked just now, ‘Oh the press gave you a hard time’, the press didn’t give us a hard time. We played with the press. We used the press. There was loads of bands that started of when we started of in the 80’s that you never hear of. Because it’s not, it’s just not all about the voice. The game isn’t just about the voice, if it was it would be great. But it isn’t. And it’s not just about the band. You’ve got to come up with all the other bull and we played the press. The books I read as a kid where rock and roll biographies y’know, especially in the 80’s it was so boring! If someone rolled a joint it was like WOW it’s the end of your career, Y’know. Growing up with the Stones and the Sex Pistols and all that stuff that’s gone and we decided we was going to bring that back. We used it, we played it and we got exactly what we wanted.
Me: Well they say there is no such thing as bad press…
Shaun: Well, yeah. They SAY that.
Me: You have worked with several people in the past, and you’ve had a few side projects can we expect anything more like that in the future?
Shaun:Not really no, you do get asked. I wont name names but if something comes along that I like. I’ll do it. You can’t dig up Dean Martin, I’d love to work with Dean, now that I’m a very responsible adult.
Me: Is there going to be a new album at all?
Shaun: Not a new Monday’s album, there’s just no time! We said we would do one, it’s when we have the time. It could be next year the year after. Who knows. I mean I’ve got a solo album thats going to come out at the end of the year, but that’s been waiting to go for a while. It’s just waiting for the right time. But as far as a Mondays album, not yet.
Me: What can we expect from your solo album?
Shaun: Well, in 2006 we did the Uncle Dysfunktional album, with the Mondays. The guy who worked on that is a real good friend of mine Sonny, he’s worked on my album and it’s sort of a bit like that only we spent more time working on it. We sorta did that in 10 consecutive nights we wrote the songs and did the music for it. With this we spent a lot more time writing and more care on it. It’s sort of like that, but not too much like that. You’ll just have to wait and see.
Me: Well I look forward to listening to that!
Me: Now for some quick-fire questions:
Me: What’s your musical guilty pleasure? Whats the worst song in your record collection!
Shaun: Me now if I do listen to music I just put Johnny Cash on, Dean Martin or Frank. My lad who has just come back from university he’s got house music blasting out that sounds exactly like music did 20 years ago. My 2 young girls, sort of anything that’s in the top 20. And me, just I suppose I’m a bit of a w****r that doesn’t really listen to music. I should but I don’t I just put Johnny Cash on or The Rat Pack.
Me: So you don’t listen to One Direction then?
Shaun: *Laughs* Only with the girls, actually I’m supposed to be going to see One Direction on Friday, taking the girls.
Me: If you could collaborate dead or alive with any artist who would it be?
Shaun: Hmmm, Living or Dead? Elvis.
Me: What’s your favourite cheese?
Shaun: Cheese? Lancaster The crumbly white one. That’s a nice cheese.
Me: What would you be doing if you wasn’t doing music?
Shaun: What would I be doing if I wasn’t doing music?! Oh, ummmmm errr Blimey! No idea. No Idea. I certainly be doing a normal job.
Me: IMDB says you provided the voice of Maccer on GTA San Andreas, true or false?
Shaun: I did. The funny thing about GTA, was I was petty p****d off, I mean I have a pretty strong Salford accent and they wanted me to put on my accent.
Me: Errmm How?
Shaun: Well I had to put it on a bit, it sounds too strong. Sounds false.
Me: Any bands that you think will make it big?
Shaun: Honestly I don’t have a clue about what’s going on. I don’t have a clue.
Me: Nither do I and I’m a ‘music journalist’
Shaun: Well. That’s not very clever is it!
CAN'T KEEP UP WITH CULTURE 